09 July 2006

Happiness X 5!

5 things that made me happy today:

1. The Rainier cherries I had for lunch. Now, I have always been a sucker for the dark red cherries. The ones that I wait for every summer. The ones that I ALMOST think about buying the first day I see them in the store when they're probably too sour to even eat AND they cost almost as much as a full tank of gas. PER POUND. Today I ventured over to produce to grab some dark red cherries for lunch where I noticed that the white Rainier cherries were ALSO on sale. Daring to be adventurous, I grabbed 2 handfuls of the white cherries which cost me a mere $1.92. Quite possibly the best one dollar and ninety two cents I have EVER spent. If it was legal to marry produce, I'd probably be at the altar in 2.5 minutes. YUM.

2. The ongoing game we all decided to play at work today. It started as a small conversation in the break room. "What are your top 5 favorite things in life?" (My original top five may or may not have included Southern Comfort and the aforementioned Rainier cherries.) (my list has since been revised.) This conversation turned into "Hey! let's all write down our top 5 favorite things in life and then compare!" (one girl's #1 was definitely sex) (her list was NOT revised.) Our game eventually branched out to include questions such as "5 things you'd bring to a deserted island," "what name you'd choose if you could have chosen your name at birth," and "which of your 5 senses would you give up if you had to give up one?" It made the day pass by pretty fast and it gave me some insight into some rather interesting people. (sidenote: the girl who listed sex as her #1 favorite thing in life quit her job before the day was over. this, however, had nothing to do with the game.)


3. this picture.

I took this picture as we were leaving the Del Mar Fair. It's a picture of this ride called the Slingshot. It consists of a huge sphere-like apparatus attached to two giant rubber bands. 2 people are strapped into the sphere, laid back, and repeatedly shot strait up into the nite sky. (All for only $25!) Needless to say *I* did not ride this. I did, however, put my camera on sport mode and attempt to snap a picture of the ride as it launched. This is the result.

When I looked over my pictures from this nite, I ALMOST deleted this one. At first glance, it looked rather lame, but when I looked closer, I noticed that I had caught the ride attendant (in the bottom right corner) glancing up at the slingshot being sent into orbit. He is illuminated by the glow of the only light in the picture. The slingshot itself is that blur in the middle of the picture and I'm actually quite shocked that my camera was able to catch it since I'm convinced that it moves damn near as fast as the speed of sound.

I'm pretty impressed. :)

4. Dashboard Confessional's Reason to Believe.

Because really..

I have reason to believe that I have victories to taste.
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest.
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more subtle than defeat.
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is filled by my resolve to breathe.



5. THIS!!

Oh, thank you holy Lords of babies who can sit up by themselves. This not only means that yay, he's growing up and doing all the things that he's supposed to and OMG, look how adorable he looks. This ALSO means that I can sit him on the floor with a toy (.. or 37) and he can actually entertain himself for more than 3.4 seconds!

oh, how sweet it is. :)

06 July 2006

How?


Grey's Anatomy tonite:

There's a baby in the nursery upstairs.
He's brand new.
Nobody's neglected or abused him yet.

How do we get from there to here?

What a question.
How DO we get from there to here.

30 June 2006

take a trip to the coast

Growing up in FL, I literally grew up in the waters of the Atlantic. The Atlantic is an ocean that is beautiful in it's own ways. The water is always warm, the sand is soft and has a way of just melting underneath your feet, the hotels and high rises that line the sand are full of people who are always ready to tell you a story or give you a soda as you spend the daylite hours in the waves. You can literally just run strait into the water and stay there all day.

The first time I saw the Pacific, I was left breathless. I was 17 and had just moved away from everything I had ever known. There were 3000 miles between me and my beach-going friends, me and my family, me and my world. Here I was in San Diego, a place where people dream of being, where people spend their life savings just to visit.. and I couldn't really find a hint of pleasure.

Until I visited the Pacific.

The water is FREEZING. In fact, there is rarely a day when you can just run into the water without your breath catching in your throat. You have to inch your way in.. little by little, and even then, you can't stay in for more than a few minutes. The sand is a mixture of brown and black and it's not nearly as soft as the sand on the opposite coast. But the scenery is breathtaking. The hotels and highrises are replaced with jutting rocks that the waves break themselves against over and over. There are families of seals that call these lovely beaches home and you can stand on a bridge and watch these seal moms and dads and babies dive into the water and sun themselves on the rocks.

It's a place where you can sit and just marvel at the wonders of nature.. and how one place can be so similar and yet SO much different than another.

Today my son is 7 months old. He has been to both coasts. He has dipped his feet into the ocean of my childhood and now, the ocean of his.



What a miracle life.

29 June 2006

Uncertainties

So, I'm not really sure why I stopped writing. I was 7 months pregnant with Gage the last time I sat down to put my thoughts on paper. And even then, I could only come up with a picture. Granted, it was a picture that pretty much summed up my entire situation at the time. A picture that featured me and the father of my soon to be child looking rather awkward and uncomfortable as we stood and obvs. posed for the camera. "Michelle, Bobby! Look over here!" In a vague attempt to try (.. and try) to mask the distance, I placed my arm on his stomach. If he had placed his on mine, he would have felt his son kick.

The product of that pose was a picture that showed what I had been denying for 4 months. What I had known all along. What I didn't want to face. All of my faith and all of my prayers and all of my "please.. Just please let him turn out to be an okay guy" had led me here. If you look in my eyes you can probably see it. You can't look in his. He's not even looking at the camera.

So, here I am. 7 months pregnant the last time I wrote. The mother of a 7 month old today.

I have sat at the computer every day of the last 10 months. Wanting to say something. NEEDING to say anything. Needing to tell the story of Gage's birth. To show off pictures of how he's grown from a 4 1/2 pound peanut to a chunky 19 pound BOY. To show videos of him laughing like a crazy drunk lunatic at his own reflection. To share my hopes and my inadequacies and my fears. To give LIFE to the emotions and the dreams and the fierce, all consuming LOVE I have come to learn in just a few short months.

So, maybe I'll start writing again. Maybe it won't be another 10 months and I won't be writing while trying to dodge the projectile toys thrown by a 17 month old. Maybe I'll tell my stories little by little.

And even though I'm still a little bit of this girl:

I am SO much more of this one:

05 January 2005

Kissy Kissy.

Who have YOU kissed??
Bold those that apply:

on the cheek.
on the lips.
on their hands
on their fingers
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair.
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
with straight hair.
taller than me.
with a lip ring.
who was drunk.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual.
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday.
who was going out with someone else.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std.
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.
eskimo style.
with a tongue ring.

20 December 2004

Three.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Michelle
2. Chelle
3. Pheebs.. lol.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. Wokeupinrayn
2. ShzEvryWmn
3. ChelVsWrld <3

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My open-mind
2. My ability to make new friends pretty easily
3. My laugh

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My stubbornness
2. My impatience
3. My broad shoulders

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Italian
2. Russian
3. Umm, Jewish?

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. Failure
2. Cockroaches
3. Falling in love

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. FOOD
2. deodorant
3. music

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. Overalls
2. a red shirt
3. Nikes

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS:

1. Counting Crowa
2. Dashboard
3. Something Corporate

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:

1. Road trip with S
2. hang with Rocky
3. party in VEGAS!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP(besides love):

1. HONESTY!!!
2. Humor
3. great sex! haha..

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1. My favorite hard alcohol is Southern Comfort
2. I've seen Clay Aiken over 30 times
3. I'm skinny

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. Nothing? lol..
2. Eyes
3. Smile

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:

1. drive slow
2. run
3. meet a worthwhile boy

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:

1. music
2. reading
3. internet

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. finish this survey!!!
2. get my xmas shopping done
3. remember cool music to d/l

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:

1. pharmacy tech
2. photographer
3. survey-taker.. i should be getting paid for this!

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. New York
2. Italy
3. NC road trip!

THREE KID'S NAMES:

1. Raleigh (boy or girl)
2. Gracey
3. Jett

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. skydive
2. travel all of Europe
3. fall in love

New beginnings.

So, is this gonna' work?

Dear Chelle,

Welcome to yet ANOTHER 'blog.

HOLLA'!